The GOP is secretly relieved they can get started on 2016, a newborn loses all faith in humanity after a record six days, and a munchtrosity is created in the Frito Layboratory. It's the week of September 20, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion